Oddities

You know, 2 weeks ago, that strange apparition (what does that word mean?) said I would die last week. She was wrong. STOP STEALING MY PEN!!! Oops, said the wrong thing. I survived!!! ROFLMFAO!! PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME!!! I don't have to part with my peanut butter sandwiches! YAY!!! But when I tried to take the bread, MY HAND JUST PASSED THROUGH!!! OH NOES! NO PEANUT BUTTER JELLY (nor JALAPENO) SANDWICHES!!! Then I tried to switch the computer on, but MY HAND JUST PASSED THROUGH AGAIN!!! I then realised that I have magical powers that I can pass through EVERYTHING!!! I then tried to pass through myself! My insides look gross. EEW! I tried to take a knife and destroy the gross insides, BUT MY HAND JUST PASSED THROUGH!!! LOL!!! Oops, wrong thing said again. OH NOES!!! I tried to focus my energy, and my hand solidified for a while,BUT MY HAND WAS STILL IN THE KNIFE! OH NOES! BUT NO BLOOD WAS COMING OUT, I COULDN'T FEEL ANY PAIN AT ALL! AND THEN THE WORLD VANISHED INTO THIN AIR! I was transported to this place the weird people playing harps call heaven. OF COURSE THIS CAN'T BE HEAVEN!!! I'M NOT DEAD YET!! Then they said that'll be true in a moment, and I got zapped down yesterday, EVEN THOUGH I WAS IN THE PLACE THEY CALL "HEAVEN" FOR ONLY A SECOND!!! NOW I CAN TOUCH THINGS AGAIN! but I lost my special move-through powers! NOOOOOO! Hey, stop taking my file!
*chase after thief of file*